amy March 10th, 2007
Three years ago I thought I had mastered weight loss. I went from pushing morbidly obese at 274 pounds down to a barely overweight 176—two pounds above my initial goal weight—in about a year in a half with Weight Watchers online. Aside from the occasional fall “off the wagon,” I lived, ate, and breathed the points system. I reveled in the compliments of my friends and coworkers who watched me lose 98 pounds, relished shopping in the “regular” clothing section, and ran my first 5k after completing CoolRunning.com’s Couch to 5k program. I had finally left my former fat persona behind and could look forward to a new life of “normal.”
Three years, two incredibly stressful semesters of working full time and going to school part time, one pregnancy, and four diet attempts later, I’m back to an obese (but at least not pushing morbid) 243 pounds. Part of me wishes If Only…If Only I had stayed on Weight Watchers…If Only I had kept running…If Only I hadn’t put myself under way too much stress by going back to school…If Only I had seen a nutritionist when I started gaining an excessive amount of weight during my pregnancy, instead of listening to everyone who validated my bingeing by pointing out that I was “eating for two”…If Only I had fully committed myself during one of my many diet attempts after giving birth. If Only, I could be at my goal weight now.
The bigger part of me would like to think that my yo-yo dieting hasn’t been for naught. If I’d actually followed through with one of my “If Only”s, I’d still be back at this same point, overweight and out of shape, if not now then at some point. I’ve finally come to a realization that someone else’s magic bullet, once size fits all plan/diet/system for wellbeing cannot undo a lifetime of food abuse. If diets work, then why is weight loss a multi billion-dollar industry? With 40% of women and 25% of men attempting to lose weight at a given time, why are the waistlines of Americans still growing?
I believe it’s because most people (yours truly included) focus on a quick fix that might yield impressive results in the short term but don’t confront the daunting task of retraining their attitudes towards food to help them maintain the weight loss for a lifetime. When someone works up the motivation to change their eating habits, they don’t necessarily want to spend the time figuring out why they are overweight and what causes them to overeat (emotional triggers, boredom, habit, lack of knowledge about nutrition, peer pressure, lifestyle, environment, etc.) Most people who seek to lose weight want a structured plan that has been tested and guaranteed (or at least promised) to work if the person follows the program. They want results. These diet plans (not only fad diet but “reputable” diets like Weight Watchers and South Beach as well) deliver their results by imposing some sort of artificial control on how people eat, whether it is limiting certain foods or counting calories or other nutritional units. The dieter loses weight and may even get to goal and maintain their weight loss for awhile, but they don’t learn how to live and eat outside of these boundaries by controlling their weight naturally. Many weightwatchers point out that WW is a “lifestyle, not a diet”, but do they really plan to count points or carry around a set of measuring cups for their entire lives?
Having lost weight the Weight Watchers way, then gaining most of it back, I’ve come to realize that I need to learn to lose weight my own individualized way, by listening to my body, eating healthy, low energy-dense foods 80% of the time, controlling my eating for reasons other than hunger, and incorporating more activity into my life, without counting, measuring, or excluding foods.
This time, I’m not in a big rush to lose weight like I was before. Even if I manage to lose 10 pounds a year, if I can do it in a way that truly changes my attitudes towards food, then it will be 10 pounds that are gone forever.
So, here is my commitment to changing my health, 10 pounds at a time.